From Zena el-Khalil<\/p>\n
I have started coughing, but I don’t know why. I am not
\nsick. I don’t have a cold. I think it’s a reaction I’m
\nhaving to stress. My body feels weak. My mouth is always
\ndry, no matter how much water I drink. And I’m afraid to
\ndrink too much water because I don’t want it to run out!
\n
\nLast night was probably the most frightful night I have ever
\nexperienced in my whole entire life. I was so tired and
\nexhausted… have not slept in days. When there is finally a
\nquiet moment, the tension in my stomach and heart prevents
\nme from falling asleep.<\/p>\n
Last night we counted at least 15 bombs falling into Dahiyeh
\n(Beirut Suburbs).. and these were just the ones we heard. At
\nsome point during the night, I said to myself that if I
\ndidn’t at least try to get some sleep that I was going to go
\ncrazy from fatigue; and that that was what was going to kill
\nme. Haven9t been able to eat either, so am losing physical
\nstrength. It9s all psychological at this point. I know I
\nhave to be strong, and I will be, but I can’t deny what I9m
\ngoing through. And I think it’s important that people hear
\nabout the downside as well as the bravery. So many of us are
\nalready working hard to fix things, we are running around
\nBeirut trying to get food and water and medicine to people,
\nwe are doing things online, etc, but it doesn’t mean we are
\nnot scared, sick or tired.<\/p>\n
So, last night amidst the worst shelling we’ve had so far, I
\nrealized that I was not afraid of the noise anymore; how
\nquickly you get used to it. I realized what was hurting the
\nmost was the “UNKNOWN”. What is going to happen tomorrow?
\nWhen will this all end? How are we going to start re-
\nbuilding again? Are the refugees going to be ok? How are the
\npeople in the south? And why punish a whole country? What is
\nthe real plan behind all of this? How much worse is it going
\nto get?<\/p>\n
My husband and I have been housing foreign “refugees”
\nhelping them to find their way out of the country. Two
\nmanaged to leave this morning, a German and Swiss. The other
\ntwo are British and American. The craziest thing is that out
\nof all people, the American embassy has been the LEAST
\nhelpful to its citizens here. The phone line to the embassy
\nhas been practically out of service. My friend, Amanda,
\n(whom I just met a few days ago, by the way) had to hire a
\ncab to take her to the embassy (which is a ride out of
\nBeirut) and all they could tell her was that they didn9t
\nknow what they were going to do and to keep checking the
\nwebsite. Only thing she has gotten on the website is that
\nshe now knows that there is going to be an evacuation (5 day
\nater), but when it happens, she is going to have to pay for
\nit! Yes, they are saying to their citizens that they are
\ngoing to bill them for their ride out! Can you believe
\nthat?!<\/p>\n
Trying to evacuate people has put me under stress. The
\nquestion is what am I to do if I had the opportunity to
\nleave? Would I leave? What do I do with my friends? My
\nfamily? My art studio? I have a British passport; I could be
\nevacuated with my husband. But what would happen to my best
\nfriend Maya? She has a very rare and bad case of CANCER! I
\nhave been taking care of her since she was diagnosed a few
\nmonths ago and I know that my care for her is what has
\nhelped her do so well. Her type of cancer is “untreatable”,
\nbut ironically, the day the shelling started, her doctor
\ntold us her tumors had shrunk! Unbelievable- a true miracle.
\nI can’t leave Maya!<\/p>\n
What about art work in my studio? What about all my brushes
\nand paints and glitter and books! All my books! Again- the
\ncrazy things that cross your mind.<\/p>\n
What about our photo albums? All our family pictures? The
\nmemories…<\/p>\n
What about the doodles I drew on my balcony a few summers
\nago when I was suffering from a bad break up?<\/p>\n
What about all the love letters I have saved? Letters that
\ndocument my youth that I wanted to some day give to my
\ndaughter.<\/p>\n
What about my other best friend? My dog, Tampopo? My
\nbeautiful Jack Russel Terrier who has never let me down. Who
\nhas always been a source of purity and compassion… Who has
\neyes of an angle… Dogs are not allowed to evacuate. My
\nAmerican friend Christine is going to have to leave her dog
\nwith me; a black pug named Baousi (means Kiss in Arabic).
\nShe is heartbroken! She almost didn’t want to evacuate. She
\nwent to so many embassies to try and register with them and
\nsee if they would take her dog. Don’t worry Christine, I
\nwill take great care of Baousi.<\/p>\n
My sister has been volunteering to help the refugees who are
\nbeing sheltered in public schools. Right now they are
\ncalling on Lebanese citizens to help out with money,
\nmedicine, food, water, blankets and mattresses. She has been
\ngoing to people and asking for money and then going out to
\nbuy medicines for refugees- her own initiative! My mom has
\njoined in too. A friend has put together a website for
\naccepting donations:<\/p>\n
http:\/\/atrissi.com\/helplebanon\/<\/p>\n
Biggest cynical statement of the day: Israel has told people
\nto evacuate from the south because they are going to
\nannihilate the south of Lebanon. However, the people can not
\nleave because all the roads have been destroyed\/blocked. And
\nyesterday when people did try and leave, the Israelis opened
\nfire on them! A massacre is happening!<\/p>\n
Update on the attacks, as of yesterday:
\n– Israelis have been bombing the south of Lebanon
\n with phosphorus and other chemical bombs.
\n– Israelis have bombed all ports along the coastline of Lebanon.
\n– Israelis have bombed all our local army radars and some outposts
\n– Israelis have bombed\/attacked the fire fighting brigade and
\n the Search and Rescue Brigade in the South.
\n Innocent civilian lives were lost. It was a massacre –
\n the buildings were also housing refugees.
\n– Israelis have continued to bomb the suburb of Beirut,
\n Dahiyeh & Haret Hreik
\n– Israelis have now killed over 100 civilians and there
\n are several hundreds wounded – and they continue to bomb the south
\n– Israelis have started hitting roads that lead to the mountains.
\n They hit a main one leading to the Shouf.
\n– Israelis have hit a gas plant in the mountains<\/p>\n
… I can’t keep up with what they have hit.<\/p>\n
*** Israel has begun to target Lebanese army outposts. They
\nhave killed Lebanese soldiers. They are no longer just
\ntargeting Hizuballah. They mean to kill all of Lebanon.<\/p>\n
The reality:<\/p>\n
Israel is trying to bring Lebanon to its knees. Israel is
\ntrying to destroy Lebanon and the Lebanese spirit. Israel is
\ntrying to turn Lebanese against each other. Israel is trying
\nto turn us into animals scrounging for food, water and
\nshelter. Israel and the United States of America are trying
\nto drag Syria and Iran into this too. They are using Lebanon
\nas bait. Lebanon is stuck in the middle. The Americans and
\nIsraelis are trying to launch a regional war!!<\/p>\n
Please help in any way you can.
\nPlease pass on the message, this email – reprint if you wish.
\nPlease tell people what is going on.
\nPlease put pressure on your respective governments to step in
\nand do something.<\/p>\n
Lebanon is a peaceful country. We are the only country in
\nthe region in which people of all religions co-exist
\npeacefully.<\/p>\n
It is unbelievable how biased the news is. They are not
\nreporting the real damage being caused. They don9t report
\nthat the Israelis are killing innocent civilians. It seems
\nfrom this end that all they are focusing on is G8!<\/p>\n
Are the Israeli & US government really just trying to wipe
\nus all out?? Well, you can tell them that I’m not leaving.
\nAnd there are many of us who are not leaving. We love
\nLebanon. We love what we have spent our lives building.<\/p>\n
Tell them about people like me.. who build culture and
\ntolerance. Who work for peace and understanding. Who work to
\neducate. Who work to promote love and compassion. There are
\nthousands like me here. What about us?<\/p>\n
Tell them about people like me, that despite all of this, I
\nhave still not learnt to hate. They can take everything from
\nme, but not my dignity. Not my morals and beliefs. They will
\nnever never break my spirit.<\/p>\n
Tell the Israeli citizens what their government is doing to
\nus. Tell them that violence begets violence. Remind them
\nthat Lebanon is their neighbor and that co-existence is
\npossible. How are we going to ever reach an understanding
\nthrough violence? We were so close… We were so close…<\/p>\n
Please stop this brutality!<\/p>\n
Still with love,
\nZena el-Khalil<\/p>\n
By the way, did I mention Maya’s tumors are getting smaller?
\nDid I mention there was a wedding across the street yesterday?<\/p>\n
Don’t know how much longer this email will still be up for,
\nbut in case of an emergency, there is always
\nziggydoodle[AT]yahoo.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
From Zena el-Khalil I have started coughing, but I don’t know why. I am not sick. I don’t have a cold. I think it’s a reaction I’m having to stress. My body feels weak. My mouth is always dry, no … Lees verder