Dear Anja;
This is what happened when I was planning with Dalia the birthday party of
Mohammed.
My son, Mohammed will be 3 years old on October 8, 2004. He learned a new
lesson for the third year of his life, this lesson is about all kinds of
breaking news. All day long radios are on everywhere talking about what is
going on into northern Gaza. Mohammed became an expert in reading all kinds
of bulletins at Al Jazeera News Channel and could know when it is breaking
news. Even Mohammed knows very well when its Iraq and when its Gaza. The
only problem that Mohammed has a question that I could not answer which is
what is the difference between the soldiers in Gaza and the soldiers in
Iraq.
Mohammed also knows very well the difference between the helicopter
and the civilian airplanes. Even at the moment we heard bombing very near
to our house and he escaped to my lap and said its in Iraq so he said that
he should not be afraid. He said turn the TV on we will see it on Al
Jazeera, I am sure its in Iraq and he was shaking. His concern was tonight
that if he lies to the Israelis and says that he loves them, would they stop
bombing and killing. Also, if he stays at home, would he be killed even if
he is at home. Those were his last two questions immediately before going
to bed.
I did not sleep this night because I have to think of the answers to be
ready for Mohammed. He wants his present for his birthday to be a gun
machine to be safe and defend himself and his little brother. I am thinking
of the lesson that he learned and how could I change his perspective. Do
you know how difficult is it to try to change a child’s perspective and get
him away from his daily life. This is the situation for all the parents in
Gaza. It is an ongoing process and it seems impossible to reach an end.
This discussion is endless like the fight that is also endless. What shall
I tell Mohammed next morning. Could I plan for his next birthday? Will I
be there to teach him or will he be there to learn? I don’t know, no one
knows. Does anyone in the civilized world know how to solve this dilemma?
Thanks
Ramadan
(Reactions and questions to this track only in English please. Ramadan wants to know what you are saying. Anja)
_________________________________________________________________
Dear Ramadan
Here in Holland we are accostumed to a very good initiative, that is already going on for 20 years by now. We allow children of warzone´s in northern/Ireland to stay in Holland for some couple of weeks to have a holiday. A dutch family is willing to care for these kids a few weeks.
The meaning of this is that those children will know, that the world not only consist of violence and war. That there is also another world where people respect eachother in peace. So, we offer them to experience this.
It would be a great thing, if there could be also some initiative for palestinian children to come here for a while and having a great time and fun. It could lower the tension they feel and have in Palestine. Maybe Anja might know the ways to organize such an initiative, she has of course also the political aquaintances. Would this be an acceptable idea?
ReneR
Thanks ReneR;
It is a great idea, but no one could gurantee that Israel will allow those children to go out of Palestine. Anyways, thank you very much for your idea.
Dear Ramadan and dear Dalia,
Thinking of you all, in Gaza in this terrible situation of devastating and killing invasion now going on, your letter with questions is an awfull basic dillema about raising your most loved ones, your harmlesse beloved little ones ..
Allready we grown-ups, and especially you living in the Gaza-strip with occupational intimidation all around you, have trouble to cope with violence and/or the many media-information about troubles in the world.
We have to live with an ongoing war in Iraq, mass-murders in Sudan, and now a killing occupation in the Middle East .. For you ’the war around the corner’ or better to describe: ’the war / now deadly occupation in your own world going on’.
And little three years-old Mohammed understands ’the breaking news’? He allready knows the difference in news about Iraq and Gaza … ?
I would only hope he could never hear or see the television, not know that there ís an other war going on .. Please, could you not keep him away from the media?! Away from everything about violence possible ?
I know you cannot hide him from the helicopters, the bombing … But that is allready so much for you to explain, so much for a little boy to cope with, needing so much safety you have to provide for him and explain allready ?!
Dear Ramadan and Dalia,
I can only hope the violence will not come near to you, not harm anyone you know. That it will end, now this moment, not ever to return again.
Please stay away from it as far as you can be, especially your little-ones.
With love,
Helma
Dear Helma;
Thank you very much for you reaction, it is very nice to hear from you on the weblog. Actually, I try my best to keep my little ones away from the media and the violence, but it is our daily life.
My God listens to you and this violence stopes.
Dalia, Ramadan, Mohammed,
I don’t know you personally, but I listened to your desperate letter, Ramadan, and it feels to me as if your call is meant on behalf of all the palestinian, israeli, all the kids in the world who have to suffer from violence today and daily.
I tried to find an answer to your questions, but I know I have no answer at all. The only thing I would do (I hope), being in your reality (but can I imagine your reality?) is making sure that I gave my children an anti-dote as good as I could. I would sing songs with them, I would play with them, I would try to make the home situation as safe and loving as possible.
Since I read your letter, a movie I saw is in my mind all the time. “La vita è bella”, by Roberto Benigni. The jewish father and his young son end up in the horrible reality of the camps of WorldWar II. The father decides to tell his kid, they are involved in a game. And so they do, they play the game opf being a prisoner in real danger.
That’s the spirit of what I would try to do: setting a wall, a screen of love, security, between my child and the world outside. In a serious attempt, to save his innocence. Knowing that we can not pretend, this reality does not exist. It does.
Take care, Ramadan.
Ok Claar;
Actually this is what I am trying to do is to try to creat a new reality and to play a game with my sons. The problem is that when trying to creat a new reality, a very big 800 mm bullets make big halls into the safe walls of my house that breaks up the new reality I am trying to creat. But I promise you to keep saving their innocence.
Sorry Ramadan, for Rudy’s remarks on this weblog.
Rudy, one more remark like that to a guest of mine on this weblog and you are off this weblog forever.
Dear Mrijke and Eelco;
It is fun to meet with you on the weblog. Thanks a lot for your support.
For you Rudy, don’t worry, I learned very well how to accept such reactions. It is not you only and is not your falt, you were raised this way. Do not blame me that I am trying to raise my children in a good way and save their innocence and replace the heatred of the Israelis they impalnted into us grownups with love and peace. It is really not your falt so I could understand you.
Dear Ramadan and Dear Dalia,
Nobody should have to accept, get accoustomed to reactions that do not know about and therefore respect you and your living-situation in an onduring occupation.
If only they could imagine it in any way! Do not accept it, please.
No wrong interpretations about your warm family-situation.
Nor the Israëlian common people-situation and their families.
It is so very sad ! Both (!) sides, parties have to live their private family-lifes in their own way with fear. Nobody should!
Different ways, by different political influences .. they are threads for both sides .. either by surprise suïcide-bombing or mass tank-invasion and helicopter-attacks ..
All not wanted and deeply hurting and deadly.
I can not imagine that any living person desires this kind of violence, this kind of life with threads.
But there are hopelessly people, desperately-hurt ones, seeing ‘no other way out’, and with no perspective on other people’s life with still going on hope and trust in peace and security in their lifes anyway.
Their neighbours, their family, you and me, we can only pray for them to get ‘peace’ with the situation and hope for a creative ‘insight’ for them for a better situation for all, for them, for us, for you overthere.
– “Life is not fair.” some wise man ever anywhere said.
– I, I like to keep ‘fairness’ as much as possible both with ‘respect’ on top of my priorities in my life. Together with ‘Do what you want, but harm no one !’
A big hug for Mohammed and his little baby-brother
(and of course a big three-some sandwich-hug for you ànd Delia!)
From Amsterdam,
Halima